Hudson Valley Mountain River News
Satire You Can Trust
KINGSTON- Unprecedented nationwide protests calling for police reform and an end to systemic racism following the death of George Floyd have caused many cities to re-imagine their approach to law …
Kingston Abolishes Police Department; Replaces It With Civil Goat Patrol Read More
The coyote, a 68lb, 3-and-a-half-year-old male whose den is located in the North Manheim Woods, successfully defeated incumbent Tim Rogers by a vote of 33 to 26.
Coyote Elected Mayor of New Paltz Read More
NEW PALTZ- A recently unearthed rap video by yet another New Paltz cop has some critics accusing the town of hypocrisy. Just days after suspending Officer Robert Sisco for posting …
Anti-Trump Rap by Another New Paltz Cop Has Some Crying Hypocrisy Read More
WASHINGTON, DC— Just days after he posted a rap that led to accusations of transphobia, New Paltz Police Officer Robert Sisco received word that the president had seen his video …
Trump Invites Rapping New Paltz Cop to Perform at Republican Convention Read More
HIGHLAND- The Franklin Delano Roosevelt Mid-Hudson Bridge is no more. From now on, the span connecting Poughkeepsie and Highland will be known as “The Andrew M. Cuomo Mid-Hudson Bridge.” The …
Mid-Hudson Bridge Renamed for Andrew Cuomo Read More
The new state flag. SYRACUSE- From Buffalo to Schenectady, Lake Placid to Peekskill, the bells of disunion are tolling. “The tea has been thrown overboard; the revolution of 2020 has …
Upstate New York Secedes Read More
KINGSTON- It took nearly a week, but as of today every Hudson Valley business with a social media presence has posted a cutout of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders from inauguration …
Final Hudson Valley business owner adds Bernie meme to social media Read More
POUGHKEEPSIE- Local drug dealers say New York State’s new bail reform law, which forbids judges from requiring bail for all but the most serious violent crimes, has been great for …
Local Drug Dealers Praise Bail Reform Law Read More
NEW PALTZ- Last week’s announcement that seven of the 16 members of the New Paltz Democratic Committee were resigning citing age discrimination sent shock waves through town, but also left …
“First He Said OK, Then He Called Me Boomer”- New Paltz Dems Detail Age-Discrimination Claims Read More
