Trump Invites Rapping New Paltz Cop to Perform at Republican Convention 

WASHINGTON, DC— Just days after he posted a rap that led to accusations of transphobia, New Paltz Police Officer Robert Sisco received word that the president had seen his video while browsing Twitter and wanted him to perform at the Republican National Convention in Jacksonville.

In the rap, delivered during Pride Month in the town that famously hosted a large number of same-sex weddings before they became legal, and when the actions and perceived biases of police officers are the subject of unprecedented national scrutiny following the death of George Floyd, contains lines like:

Spit facts over feelings because you’re feelings are irrelevant

There’s only two genders and Trump’s still your president

Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina

This whole coronavirus was sent here from China

Hillary is Killary we all know the reason

Where those emails at? We should hang her for treason

And concludes:

And we all bleed red, whether white, black or brown

But we need to get together and shut this shit down

Stop lootin’, stop shootin’, stop fires and threats 

It only takes two people I’m first so who’s next?

Sisco said he quickly accepted the invitation and later spoke with the president. “I was feeling really dumb for posting the video, thinking I’d probably lose my job,” he said. “But he told me my song was ‘unbelievable’ and that he was going to hook me up with Kanye!”