NEW PALTZ- The source of the contamination that caused the water to taste “odd” and led this college town of 14,000 to temporarily switch to bottled water has been discovered: A group of approximately one dozen crust punks taking their biannual bath in the icy waters of New Paltz’s reservoir.
“Apparently they migrated up from Asheville [North Carolina] to take a dip in our reservoir,” said Police Chief Joe Lefevre. “We were up there testing the water when we come across a bunch of PBR cans, fast-food wrappers, empty rolling tobacco pouches, and dog turds. That was our first clue.”
Testing by the County Health Department later turned up a mix of locomotive grease, human sweat and patchouli, a unique combination that matched the description of the smell and taste of water provided by residents.
Lefevre later located some of the punks at Snug Harbor, a Main Street bar. Apparently, they’d chosen New Paltz as the site for their swim because it held some sentimental value and because they needed to clear out of Asheville due to “some seriously shady shit” happening there.
“We used to come through New Paltz a lot in the summer, hang out on the stoop,” said Jay-Dog, 29. “Not so much anymore. This town has changed a lot, waaaaay too many cops. Hey, you’re beautiful, you wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette?”
