New Paltz excited to announce new building shape

First there was the triangle.

Then, the rectangle.

Faced with the need to continue to create new buildings to justify their existence and create tax write-offs for their New York City clients, and only a limited number of shapes that could possibly achieve LEED certification, New Paltz area architects have been casting about for a bold new geometrical design. After rejecting a one-sided building outright as too Trumpian, dismissing a two-sided building as distastefully centrist, and skipping over a five-sided building for its obvious military-industrial-complex connotations, they settled on The Hexagon, a mixed-use development incorporating the latest energy-efficient technology.

Architect’s rendering

The new design was presented to the New Paltz Planning Board at its regular meeting last month.Planners expressed delight at the building’s Net-Zero energy outlay, but at least one member of the public required some conditions to prevent her from creating a Facebook group and authoring interminable letters to the editor opposing the project.

“I see you have space for 60 bike racks and 20 cars,” said the woman, who refused to give her name due to the local media’s repeated failure to provide context for her quotes. “Could you up that to 75 bikes and 5 spots for electrical vehicle charging? We really don’t need more cars in New Paltz. Ever try to get from the Thruway to Karma Road on a Friday afternoon?”

The board decided to leave the public hearing open, but expressed optimism about the project.

“So far we don’t see anything that would prevent this building from being built in timely fashion,” said the chair. “Maybe four or five years, max. It’s a bold design and energy efficient. And six-sided, like the cell in a beehive. Who doesn’t love bees?”

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