Hudson Valley Mountain River News
Satire You Can Trust
KINGSTON- Unprecedented nationwide protests calling for police reform and an end to systemic racism following the death of George Floyd have caused many cities to re-imagine their approach to law …
Kingston Abolishes Police Department; Replaces It With Civil Goat Patrol Read More
KINGSTON- In an effort to resolve the controversy over the historic statues at Academy Green once and for all, the Kingston Common Council voted this week to replace the statue …
Kingston Decides to Swap One George Clinton for Another Read More
KINGSTON- The Kingston Common Council voted this week to replace the bronze statues of Henry Hudson, Peter Stuyvesant and George Clinton following an online petition to remove them as “symbols …
Kingston Replaces Academy Green Statues With Flying Spaghetti Monster Read More
WASHINGTON, DC— Just days after he posted a rap that led to accusations of transphobia, New Paltz Police Officer Robert Sisco received word that the president had seen his video …
Trump Invites Rapping New Paltz Cop to Perform at Republican Convention Read More
Ulster County Executive Pat Ryan hesitates before eating hissing cockroaches yesterday at the Capitol ALBANY- In the darkest days of the Covid-19 pandemic, Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s daily press briefings were …
Cuomo, in Bid to Boost Press Conference Ratings, Forces County Execs to Compete to End Lockdowns Read More
HIGHLAND- The Franklin Delano Roosevelt Mid-Hudson Bridge is no more. From now on, the span connecting Poughkeepsie and Highland will be known as “The Andrew M. Cuomo Mid-Hudson Bridge.” The …
Mid-Hudson Bridge Renamed for Andrew Cuomo Read More
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo took time out of his daily coronavirus update today to shine a light on local youngster Cooper McCarthy, recent recipient of the “Hero of the …
Cuomo Commends 10-Year-Old for Informing on Parents for Social-Distancing Violations Read More
So much for “We’re all in this together.” Rachel Henderson, 30, an unemployed bartender and waitress living in the Hudson Valley, recently issued a stark warning to the elder generation, …
Millennial’s Shocking Ultimatum to Boomers: ‘Cancel Student Debt or We Will Cough on You’ Read More
ALBANY- New Yorkers in need of financial help will have to wait a little bit longer. Soon after the news broke that the stimulus checks were to be delayed following …
New Yorkers’ Stimulus Checks to Be Further Delayed While Cuomo Adds Signature Next to 50% Tax Read More
The new state flag. SYRACUSE- From Buffalo to Schenectady, Lake Placid to Peekskill, the bells of disunion are tolling. “The tea has been thrown overboard; the revolution of 2020 has …
Upstate New York Secedes Read More
