Hudson Valley Mountain River News
Satire You Can Trust
KINGSTON— The thermometer says 13 but it feels 20 degrees colder as we pull into the station just after 3 a.m. on a recent Monday night. The ambulance, a 2001 Ford E450 Wheeled Coach Type III, has seen better days, and — as they’ll be the first to admit — so has the crew.
Local Second Responders Demand Recognition Read More
NEW PALTZ- As part of its pioneering effort to become the first New York State-Certified Zero Emissions Community, the Town of New Paltz enacted Local Law #3 of 2022 forbidding …
New Paltz bans seltzer, citing CO2 emissions Read More
ELLENVILLE- While other towns and cities across the Hudson Valley contend with rising housing costs and displacement of existing residents and businesses, this little village at the foot of the …
Ellenville Manages to Avoid Scourge of Gentrification Read More
Upstate New York is not just a place- it’s a state of mind. How Upstate are you? Tap or click all that apply and smash the “Submit” button to find …
Quiz: How Upstate Are You? Read More
“It’s a nice place to visit but we cannot in good conscience recommend that anyone live there.”
Report: No One Should Really Be Living in Upstate New York Read More
Above: An image purporting to show one of the cosmic horrors almost beyond man’s power to bear. KINGSTON- A low-frequency “ping” emanating from the site of the Kingston sinkhole as …
Ominous Ping Emanating From Sinkhole Threatens to Derail Kingston Real Estate Boom Read More
KINGSTON- With a large winter storm on the way, City of Kingston officials issued a tough new policy that will surely ruffle the feathers of city motorists. Abelard began …
Breaking: Kingston Announces Harsh New Snow Ordinance Read More
Buddy This super cute fellow is thrilled you’ve been home more often! He is completely ignorant of abstract concepts like “the economy” and has no idea that the reason you’ve …
Six Adorable Pets Completely Unaware of Coronavirus Pandemic Read More
NEW PALTZ- Local prepper Paul Riesling has been put to the test this year. After a quiet January, this New Paltz resident, who first began “prepping” for extended civilizational breakdown …
2020 Really Putting New Paltz Prepper Through His Paces Read More
NEW PALTZ- The source of the contamination that caused the water to taste “odd” and led this college town of 14,000 to temporarily switch to bottled water has been discovered: …
Source of New Paltz Water Contamination Traced to Crust Punks Taking Winter Bath Read More
