Hudson Valley Mountain River News
Satire You Can Trust
ELLENVILLE- While other towns and cities across the Hudson Valley contend with rising housing costs and displacement of existing residents and businesses, this little village at the foot of the …
Ellenville Manages to Avoid Scourge of Gentrification Read More
“It’s a nice place to visit but we cannot in good conscience recommend that anyone live there.”
Report: No One Should Really Be Living in Upstate New York Read More
Above: An image purporting to show one of the cosmic horrors almost beyond man’s power to bear. KINGSTON- A low-frequency “ping” emanating from the site of the Kingston sinkhole as …
Ominous Ping Emanating From Sinkhole Threatens to Derail Kingston Real Estate Boom Read More
Buddy This super cute fellow is thrilled you’ve been home more often! He is completely ignorant of abstract concepts like “the economy” and has no idea that the reason you’ve …
Six Adorable Pets Completely Unaware of Coronavirus Pandemic Read More
NEW PALTZ- Local prepper Paul Riesling has been put to the test this year. After a quiet January, this New Paltz resident, who first began “prepping” for extended civilizational breakdown …
2020 Really Putting New Paltz Prepper Through His Paces Read More
NEW PALTZ- The source of the contamination that caused the water to taste “odd” and led this college town of 14,000 to temporarily switch to bottled water has been discovered: …
Source of New Paltz Water Contamination Traced to Crust Punks Taking Winter Bath Read More
Calling the eventual closure of the nation’s malls “inevitable,” the Federation of Upstate Commercial Kingpins Enabling Development decided at its annual meeting last week to take pre-emptive action and close …
‘Put Them Out of Their Misery’: All Upstate New York Malls to Be Closed ASAP Read More
NEW PALTZ- Many residents were shocked last week after receiving bills of up to $10,000 for the heating oil delivered through their drinking water over the last several months due …
New Paltz Bills Water Customers Thousands for “Free” Heating Oil Delivery Read More
