SAUGERTIES- A local contractor accused of numerous environmental violations escalated his battle with the town yesterday, dumping a load of toxic waste on town hall.
“This is really outrageous,” said town supervisor Frank Carbello, speaking from the containment unit at Kingston Hospital, where he was being treated for radiation poisoning. “Unfortunately, our lawyers tell us our enforcement action will take months to work its way through the courts, so this could very well get worse before it gets better.”
According to eyewitness reports, a man pulled up to Saugerties Town Hall in a dump truck bearing the name of local contractor Jack Meaney at approximately 10:22 a.m. yesterday morning and dumped numerous barrels full of toxic waste on the front lawn, before driving away screaming “God is dead” and “Jimmy Fallon is a hack.”
Additional witnesses said the man was later seen driving the same truck up and down Main Street sidewalks mowing down the “Fluttering Around Saugerties” public art displays, ramming the historic Saugerties Lighthouse with a stolen Coast Guard icebreaker, and pouring a cement truck mixer full of laxative in the Blue Mountain Reservoir.
Meaney, reached for comment, admitted guilt, but said he was being unfairly targeted for political reasons, and that friends and relatives of town board members are allowed to get away with “far worse.”
