KINGSTON- We’ve heard of bidding wars over Hudson Valley real estate but this was ridiculous.
An all-out, bare-knuckle brawl over the last remaining affordable one-bedroom apartment in the Hudson Valley broke out yesterday on Green Street in Kingston, causing 22 injuries, four severe enough to require hospitalization.
When the dust settled, and the wounds were licked, and the police and ambulance sirens were replaced once more with birdsong and squirrel chatter, 33-year-old Mike Biannelli was in possession of the keys to a $950, 540-sq-ft, pet-friendly second-floor 1BR with an on-site washer/dryer, off-street parking for one car, and a small backyard area with a firepit for the enjoyment of the building’s tenants.
“When I saw this place pop up on my Craig’s List alert for local apartments that didn’t cost your first born plus a security deposit, I dropped my Rough Draft coffee and sprinted over here as fast I could,” remembers Biannelli, tilting his head back to prevent his broken nose from gushing bright red blood over the freshly signed lease. “There were already 13 other people here waving cash, printouts of their credit scores, recent pay stubs, and references from previous landlords. I know it was going to get ugly.”
Eyewitnesses report a scene of shocking carnage, as within minutes, dozens of desperate soon-to-be-homeless would-be tenants descended on this quiet street. As they jockeyed to be the first to reach the door of landlord Patricia Bruyn, sharp elbows gave way to hard shoves, and curses and haymakers were soon flying, as well as lawn chairs and bike chains. Few observed social-distancing protocols.
Bruyn said she was stunned at what unfolded beneath the porch of the home she and her husband purchased for $29,000 in 1977. “The most recent tenant, a nice old gentleman who passed last December, rented that room ever since my son went off to college in 2005,” said Bruyn, wincing a bit as she directed the stream of her garden hose at the grisly melange of blood, hair and teeth on the pavement, coaxing it toward a storm drain. “I raised the rent a bit but I guess I could have gone even higher!”
