In a move touted as a “win-win” by local officials, residents of Midtown Kingston who have been subject to rising rents due to gentrification and a spike in crime this year will be housed at the former county jail.
“After the shootings, we blanketed the neighborhood with cops and pretty much cut crime down to nothing by making Midtown a police state,” said Mayor Steven Abelard. “At the same time, we’ve been talking with the county about converting the old jail into affordable housing, which is desperately needed here because of rising housing costs. That’s when it occurred to us: Let’s put Midtown residents in the jail! That way we can regularly search them and keep a close watch on their activities with only a fraction of the resources it takes to patrol their neighborhoods.”
County Executive Ryan K. Patrick nodded enthusiastically.
“As soon as Steve came to me with the idea, I knew we’d struck gold. First our Sheriff hit on the idea of renting out excess capacity at the current jail on Airbnb. This is the kind of innovative thinking that will help Ulster grow and prosper in the years ahead.”