SAN JOSE- Facebook users this morning have begun noticing several new emojis presented in its new “Protest” section that some law enforcement groups and Republican officials say go too far.
“Positive messages put forth by corporations amplifying marginalized voices, common-sense criminal justice reform and grappling with the unequal advantages history has bequeathed to some groups over others are all fine,” said Paul Tanner, spokesperson for the American Society Supporting and Honoring Officers of Law Enforcement. “But to celebrate violence against police, destruction of property and the mob’s veto over our shared history? We will frame our response in terms Mr. Zuckerberg can understand: 😡.”
The Facebook founder, who denied reports earlier this week that he and wife Priscilla Chan were spotted in the dead of night hurriedly emptying their Marin County mansion of their most precious belongings and loading a chartered “bug-out” yacht bound for a remote island off the coast of New Zealand in an effort to escape before “shit really hits the fan,” said the new emojis are merely “a way for our 2 billion users to express themselves and connect.” He acknowledged that some may find them “provocative” but that “sometimes you need to be a little bit uncomfortable in order for serious conversations to happen and dialogue to take place.”
Just then, a voice in the distance, slightly clipped as if coming over a P.A. system, made an announcement:
Ladies and gentlemen, the last shuttle to the dock leaves in approximately five minutes. Drop what you are doing and leave now.
“Ummm I gotta go,” said Zuckerberg.