Kingston residents hoping to ring in the New Year with a bang were let down last night when reports of a planned orgy turned out to be a joke.
“It’s too bad,” said Elijah Lucas, 31, an anarchist polyamorous, ukulele-playing hot-towel barber and mixologist who splits his time between Brooklyn and Kingston’s Stockade district. “A lot of people were saying it was going to be gross, but that’s just the stubborn vestiges of American puritanism.”
The misunderstanding was the result of an article published on a site called hudsonvalleyone.org entitled Kingston to Celebrate New Years with Uptown Orgy. The site uses the same name and address (with a different extension) as Hudson Valley One, a local news website.
“I was a bit curious about what happened here,” said Ben Pearce-Abebe, 41, a permaculture landscape architect and apprentice cooper, of Kingston. “Apparently the fake site was created by someone with an axe to grind because of a 10,000-word two-part article saying he was annoying, or something. I ended up going down a rabbit hole reading those articles and the guy’s website full of all kinds of primary documents and links relating to men’s rights, #metoo, astrology, libel law and journalistic ethics. All I wanted was to get laid.”
Hudson Valley Mountain River News was unable to local any local women who planned on attending the would-be orgy.