KINGSTON- The sight of survey crews beginning prep work for a new roundabout at the intersection of Albany Ave., Broadway and 587 this week was met with groans across Kingston and surrounding towns. Like all roundabouts, this one isn’t popular with area drivers. What is unusual this time is the lack of pro-roundabout arguments being made by the New York State Department of Transportation.
“We usually issue statements claiming roundabouts are safer, move traffic along faster, reduce greenhouse gas emissions, that sort of thing,” said Glenn Lowrey, DOT spokesman. “But we always knew that was a load of crap. Nobody knows how to use them and it’s truly hilarious watching you all try.”
Lowrey then cued up a video of a hapless man in a 2013 Dodge Grand Caravan circling the center lane of the roundabout by the exit 19 tollbooths a dozen times trying to make a right onto Washington Ave., and becoming visibly flustered as he attempts to look over his right shoulder for an opening while maintaining the proper turning angle to stay in his lane. “This never gets old,” chortled Lowrey.
Lowrey then shared another video showing numerous drivers from the outer (right) lane nearly being side-swiped by drivers in the inner (left) lane because they failed to exit where they should have. “This happens every day,” he said.
Local officials were surprised to hear such candid statements coming from a state agency, but felt powerless to do anything on behalf of their constituents.
“We all know no one likes roundabouts,” said Steve Abelard, Kingston’s mayor. “But we always heard they work in Europe and thought maybe we were just missing something.”
Couldn’t Kingston assert the will of its people to influence the local infrastructure? Abelard shook his head sadly. “I”m afraid not. We need the state’s money to fix this intersection. I suppose we could fix it ourselves but we’d have to raise taxes by a noticeable amount and that would mean I’d lose the next election to a Republican, which would be a far more evil outcome than a roundabout.”
Lowrey said the state is also considering installing a roundabout at another confusing Kingston intersection, the one joining Greenkill Ave., Rt. 32, Fair St., Wall St. and South Wall St.
“That one is already pretty bad,” he said. “But I think we can make it truly ludicrous.”